What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?

{RING} {RING}

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Do older men realize that younger women usually do not prefer them?

Yes sir it is.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

My parents force me (15yo atheist) to go to church, and there’s this thing called Small Sundays where we discuss the Bible in groups, there are questions asked about the Bible. What am I supposed to do when they ask?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

HELLO

After a few moments he returns.

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

Sure no problem officer.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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